it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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