Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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