hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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