On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
