were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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