At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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