i need an iv and a liver transplant
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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