I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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