I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
