If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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