see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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