Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My penis needs a shock collar
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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