I just threw up on my dentist
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
