just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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