never play flip cup with pint glasses
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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