I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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