Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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