if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
operation have a gay friend backfired
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
