You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Are we in a gay sports bar?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize