I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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