We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
