Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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