we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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