I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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