great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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