I cut my penus on the lid.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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