i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The best revenge is premature balding
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize