Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
