She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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