I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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