Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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