whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
