Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
