Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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