K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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