I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
