If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
