Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
