It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
