Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize