omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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