DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize