i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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