Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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