I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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