you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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