a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
