respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
