One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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