things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I smell stomach acid.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
