my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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