Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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