maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
