i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
